Festivals Part 6

There’s another Basingstoke festival memory that sticks in my mind. One of the regular Salisbury male players (let’s call him…….’Air’) was a big hit with the opposite sex (well, at least that’s how he always viewed it…….mostly through rose tinted beer goggles). Anyhow, this particular Basingstoke festival, we had a mixture of experienced players and, because we were short, some of the ladies’ junior players came to join us on the Sunday, as I, being captain and one of the two junior coaches at the time (see pic below), could think of no other way to make up the numbers. Anyway, said juniors all arrived and we played one game………all was going well.

After the game, the whole team adjourned to the bar, all sitting together around the same large table. After a few minutes it became clear that one of the team had gone missing. Yes that’s right………’Air’!

New Sarum ladies juniors with me helping fantastic coach Brian Hiscock

New Sarum ladies juniors with me helping fantastic coach Brian Hiscock

After a swift look around he was spotted, as far away from us as he could possibly get….at the end of the bar, casually chatting up a young girl from another team, who had, through no doubt copious amounts of alcohol, spent the entire night in ‘Air’s’ tent (you fill in the missing pieces!).

Well, ‘Air’ was doing his very best to hide himself from the team, knowing full well  the kind of stick he’d get if we caught him in the act of trying to impress a member of the opposite sex, when there were serious hockey discussions (well……….you know what I mean) going on. At this point, I should probably mention that there was a glass partition separating the viewing area where we were sat, from the bar area where he was preening. As a team we did our best to catch his eye (you know, with lots of hand actions and miming), but although he did notice what we were all doing he, to his credit, managed to totally ignore us……..no mean feat I assure you.

Being ignored just made us more determined……..determined to humiliate him in front of the girl he was trying so hard to impress. Now while I will reveal a few things in these blogs…….. I won’t always admit that it was me that either carried things out, or thought up the dastardly ideas in the first place. However, this most definitely WAS my idea. One of the juniors, about fifteen at the time and a great hockey player (Hi Dime Bar!) had brought along her nine year old sister (also a fab hockey player), and their parents had left both girls with us while they had gone off for a walk. I knew my plan was a good one, but I wasn’t sure I would be able to persuade the youngest of the two sisters to play along…….on this, the whole thing hinged. I outlined my plan to the team, which was more cunning than any Baldrick and a group of foxes could have come up with.

By now, the bar had begun to fill up with players from teams just finishing their matches. After explaining the plan, our young cohort steadfastly refused to co-operate despite the whole team and her elder sister urging her on. It took us all about ten minutes to change her mind, while all the time worrying about ‘Air’ finishing his mission, and coming back and joining us. We needn’t have worried as he was in full ‘shark’ mode and nothing short of a team full of topless volleyball players could have tempted him away. With our youngster fully briefed on what she had to do, we opened the glass door separating the team from the bar, gave her the thumbs up and sent her on her way, with our smiling faces firmly pressed against the glass. If Romeo had looked over, he might have had some idea of the ‘ticking time bomb’ that was heading in his direction……but of course his mind was on other things.

Time seemed to stand still as the nine year old messenger approached ‘Air’. The whole team pressed up against the glass, held its breath at the same time, knowing full well what was to come. The young hockey player played her part to perfection. We all watched as she wandered up to ‘Air’, held up her outstretched arm in his direction, palm up and said the immortal words…………”DDAAAAAADDDDD! Can I have  fifty pence for a packet of crisps please?” We all burst into a bout of raucous laughter on seeing the expression on his face, and more importantly, the expression on the young girl’s face.

Romeo (sorry, I mean ‘Air’) playfully dismissed our little time bomb, brushing it all off as a playful joke to his love interest, all the time shaking his fist in our direction from behind his back. Our fully fledged young hockey player returned to a round of applause, fresh soft drink and sweets I seem to remember, shortly followed by the maiden magnet himself (sorry……. I mean ‘Air’). His young lady couldn’t have excused herself  any faster after our little jape, if he’d announced he was a disease ridden psychopath, with nothing more than a thimble for a trumpet between his legs. As a team, we applauded what can only be described as some of our best work!


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